A Simple Guide to Creating Your Own September Self-Care Retreat

A gentle guide to making time for yourself, without the pressure to be perfect.

This weekly Tuesday letter is a soft space for you to land—full of reflections, resources, and real-life support for your slow, intentional self-care journey.

My 35th birthday this year felt like a milestone birthday—maybe only because 35 is divisible by 5, but it felt important nonetheless. I wanted it to be an ideal day, and I spent a couple of weeks trying to figure out how to celebrate. "You only turn 35 once", and all that. Did I want something over-the-top with friends, or something cozy and casual at home? I went back and forth about it for a long time, until I finally decided to opt for something casual. Brunch with my husband while my kids were at school, making a homemade birthday cake from scratch, and then going out to eat at my favorite Italian restaurant with my mom and family. Finally, the plans were set, and I was looking forward to the day.

And then when the day arrived, it was lovely. But I also had a strange, low-grade anxiety—asking myself multiple times throughout the day whether I was spending the day "correctly", as if there is a right and wrong way to spend your 35th birthday. Was I making the most of this special day? Was I being present and soaking up every moment? The pressure started to become overwhelming, so I took a few minutes to slow down, take deep breaths, and pay attention to what I was feeling. I just wanted this day to be special, symbolic of a happy and hopeful year to come. But this pressure was starting to sabotage the day. I took a few more deep breaths and repeated this mantra to myself, "I don't have to make the most of every single moment." Life is inherently messy and complicated, and we are not always capable of being fully present. After this little reset, I felt much better, and although the day wasn't perfect, I enjoyed the beautiful moments that I had, and allowed room for flaws and imperfections that came.

Photo by Storiès on Unsplash

This kind of anxiety, the kind of "am I living this moment fully?" anxiety, shows up off and on in my life. "Am I enjoying every second with my children while they're still young?" "Am I doing enough to celebrate the important days in my life?" and "Am I making the most of my vacation/holiday time?" It's something I continue to work on with mantras like:

I can't hold on to every moment — and I don't need to.

I can rest in this moment, just as it is.

Messy, ordinary days are part of a whole, beautiful life.

What I noticed in my most recent Self-Care retreat is that this existential anxiety tried to creep in, adding pressure to how I spent my self-care time. Was I spending my self-care time deliberately enough? Would my time feel restorative enough? Would this self-care retreat feel like a good use of my limited time? And as the pressure seeped in, I gently reminded myself that this time didn't need to be perfect, beautiful, or Instagram-worthy. Instead of stressing over the ideal way to spend my 3 hours of self-care, I took deep breaths and let my heart lead me to the things that felt most restorative moment by moment.

I'm excited to share this retreat with you, along with pictures of how I spent my time, letting go of the pressure to be "enough." I'll share ideas for your own September Self-Care Retreat, and then I'll provide reflection questions to help you understand the unnecessary pressures you put on your time. Subscribe below for only $7/ 7/month to get access to all of this, plus 8+ posts per month to accompany and inspire your self-care journey.